Alot has happened, most of which can be good and bad really.
I'll talk about the current situation instead.
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This place no longer feels like a home. A home is warm, cozy, happy and a place where you can love and feel loved. This place, Richmond, this complex, these walls, these tiles, these windows, absolutely none of it feels like a home to me anymore. I should be so happy right now, with my life and everything in general. Don't kid yourself, I am, but every time I return here, all I can help but feel is sadness. There is no love, there is no warmth and it is the farthest thing from a true happiness that I could ever feel. Any moment of time I spend here makes me tear up. I stay here, I sleep here, I breathe here and I all I want to do is cry. It feels as though i'm being suffocated by a depression that I cannot escape. I have a sick feeling in my gut and I can never be happy in this place. I no longer know where my home is. It feels non existent and I don't know what to do about it.
This all sounds so sad and horrible, but I can't lie to myself, this is the truth. This is how I feel.
I wish I didn't, but I do and I need to figure out a way to figure this all out.
I just need someone to rectify the little ounce of happiness that I have left in me and I don't know if that will ever happen.
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I should really turn this into a proper blog, instead of my rambled brain fuck ups.
That is all.
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